It’s an on-going Easter-week tradition here at conTIMplating that I present the Easter story in various translative forms to do my best in helping contemporary peoples relate to the ancient and sometimes confusing biblical text. This year, noticing that a number of people are trading in their Easter bonnets and accompanying frills for a very spring-like red, Chinese-manufactured “Make America Great Again” baseball cap, I decided to reprint this year’s story from the New American Trump Version (NATV). My apologies for its length, but…you know, it’s not my fault. So grab yourself a traditional Easter passion-fruit and settle in to read this, the holiest of stories, from the very innumerate Gospel of The Donald… Continue reading
Tag Archives: culture
What If Your College Is ON Jupiter?
My second eldest daughter, Thing 2, graduates high-school this spring whereupon accolades for successfully making it through the simplest part of life will no doubt be generously bestowed upon her. After that comes…well, therein lies the proverbial and axiomatic rub. College seems to be all the rage these days for young high-school graduates so I suppose in order to avoid rocking the cultural and aphoristic boat, college is where we will probably send her.
But we are of course concerned. Concerned that she will make good decisions. Concerned for her safety. But most of all concerned that once she gets out into the real world she might get her feelings hurt. This is why we have scoured the finest of educational institutions in search of the one most likely to protect her from those nasty microagressions of self-expression that are bound to emotionally scar her and render her unable to function due to a general feeling of victimizing disagreement.
Looking around, we liked Continue reading
Yes Virginia, There Is a Special Place in Hell
So…Madeleine Albright. You remember her; she was a secretary by profession and was in charge of all that crazy inaction during the Bosnian and Rwandan genocides of the 90s. Well, she was back in the news last week for improvised philosophizing, saying–and I quote: “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other.” This was shouted during a heated and emotionally imprudent campaign moment in New Hampshire in an attempt to garner primary votes—for Carly Fiorina, I think. But this post is not about Madeleine Albright.
What got me conTIMplating was what she said during that moment of impassioned and impulsive stupidity. Her foolhardy fervency sparked in me a recollected memory from my historical past of a bygone era, and I suddenly came to understand a comprehending realization: I think I know what that special place in hell is. No, it’s not watching The View, but close.
Think about it: Continue reading
The Best of TIM’s Best of 2015
Happy New Year! Here’s hoping that your arbitrarily chosen day celebrating the interminable passage of time was filled with all the whimsicality such inconsequential festivity deserves! And what better way to mark such an insignificant festal period than to also mark the best of the best of one’s experiences contained within that very same random twelve month period?!
And so here it is: the enormously personal and subjective and somewhat recommendary listing of my favorite happenings of the very comma-filled foregoing, that is, previous, year, namely, the second annual
The Best of TIM’s Best of 2015 (see above)
Starting with… Continue reading
Welcome to the Fourth Year of My Blog. I Apologize.
Hello. My name is Tim. Welcome to the fourth year of my blog. Please do not be offended. I apologize.
So here we are again. Those who consider themselves regular readers of this electronic page of web-based wonderment are kidding themselves because one cannot be a regular reader of something that does not regularly exist. Such is the case with this virtual locale of computerized verbosity, as I have lamentably not posted in nearly a year.
I would like to blame my lack of typeset activity on a sudden and debilitating mandoline tragedy, but alas, I am not that lucky. It is instead the case Continue reading
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