Welcome to the Fourth Year of My Blog. I Apologize.

Hello.  My name is Tim.  Welcome to the fourth year of my blog.  Please do not be offended.  I apologize.

So here we are again.  Those who consider themselves regular readers of this electronic page of web-based wonderment are kidding themselves because one cannot be a regular reader of something that does not regularly exist.  Such is the case with this virtual locale of computerized verbosity, as I have lamentably not posted in nearly a year.

I would like to blame my lack of typeset activity on a sudden and debilitating mandoline tragedy, but alas, I am not that lucky.  It is instead the case Continue reading

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The First conTIMplating Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown

We have a tradition here in the conTIMplating home that every Christmas before bowing to the idol of excessive consumption, we read the story of The First Christmas and revel in all of its bell-jingling yuletide merriness.  But never before our November gluttonous ode to gratitude have we sat down and reminded ourselves of The First Thanksgiving.  So by golly, this year I am going to use the expression ‘by golly’ more often and do something about it.  And you can too!  Simply gather about the victual-laden tabletop, get out your various electronic devices that are out anyway, and read aloud to one another in your best Charlton Heston voice this,

The First conTIMplating Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown

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This is it! The Diet Starts…Monday

Oh how I love New Year’s with all of its revelry in celebration of an arbitrary moment in the incessantly monotonous passage of time.  What better reason to party?  What I don’t love however, is that it is (once again) time to be pressured into taking stock of my stockiness, throw my considerable weight around in considering my considerable weight, and ask myself why I don’t look like the touched-up models and celebrities I see in photo-shopped magazines and professionally enhanced videos.  Is it because I am (ulp) normal?

Well, I’ve (once gain) had it with being normal!  I look and feel like an average human!  Ugh!  And so over the New Year I have (once again) resolved to immerse my typical averageness in the very American and very lucrative dieting and starvation industry so I can more closely resemble the media fantasies we all know and worship. Continue reading

Redskins’ Name Is Siouxper Offensive

The Washington Redskins are in the news over their name again.  The word on the social media street is that there is pressure to change it because of embarrassment over the term ‘Washington,’  hahajklol;).  The manufactured outrage is actually over the term ‘Redskin’ as it is perceived as disparaging toward Native Americans and psoriasis sufferers by implying that they are competitive and fierce.

Other teams are under the tomahawk over this, including the Atlanta Braves, the Cleveland Indians, the Kansas City Chiefs, the Florida State Seminoles, the Chicago Blackhawks, the Cincinnati Reds, and the Birmingham Whites Only. Continue reading

Super Sunday Showdown!

Unless you are holed up in your Afghani cave or your right-wing Idaho compound or your own roomy derriere, you are probably aware that Sunday night provided an extraordinary epic battle between two potent powerhouses that left observers breathless as the combatants conflicted and contested like two gladiators engaged in a ferocious life-and-death struggle in front of an audience of millions, nay, billions of screaming blood-thirsty onlookers.  Of course, I speak of no other than that treacherous and violent clash of…

SuperBowl v. Downton

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