The Easter Story… As Told by Mr. Donald J. Trump

It’s an on-going Easter-week tradition here at conTIMplating that I present the Easter story in various translative forms to do my best in helping contemporary peoples relate to the ancient and sometimes confusing biblical text.  This year, noticing that a number of people are trading in their Easter bonnets and accompanying frills for a very spring-like red, Chinese-manufactured “Make America Great Again” baseball cap, I decided to reprint this year’s story from the New American Trump Version (NATV).  My apologies for its length, but…you know, it’s not my fault.  So grab yourself a traditional Easter passion-fruit and settle in to read this, the holiest of stories, from the very innumerate Gospel of The Donald… Continue reading

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This Is One Big-Ash Wednesday!

Here it is Ash Wednesday, the day whereupon I traditionally sit on my ash and crank out some sort of Easter blog–and by ‘traditionally’ I mean one year in a row.  Easter is a special time at our house and we celebrate the resurrection of The Christ by consuming gluttonous amounts of ham, a cloven-hoofed delicacy that ironically Jesus himself never ate because, as it reads in Leviticus, The Queen Mother’s Dijon-pineapple glaze is positively sinful.

Easter for me is a source of pleasant memories, not the least of which is coloring eggs as a child and waking up Easter morning to search for them around the house, as they were purportedly scattered about by some sort of mischievous long-eared rodent.  A related memory is waking up a few days later to the sulfurous smell of the one or two that we overlooked.

A few years ago I created a more adult-type memory Continue reading