Don’t talk about religion, they say. Don’t talk about politics, they say. These are no-nos, taboos, conversation killers. Pssh. Whatever. What else is there to talk about? There’s no reason we can’t be honest with each other, is there? Especially on social media. I’m always converting my so-called friends to my complex political and religious views using 140 characters or less.
Last week I wrote a piece about religion and politics and it has turned out to be the most popular post to ever grace this webtronic page of haphazard electro-bemusement. So I got to conTIMplating… What other forbidden topics could I write about that people normally shy away from that would consequently send my readership through the roof? What else are we supposed to remain silent about that would get everybody talking? I came up with a few ideas…
A big one of course, is Continue reading
Posted in The Petri Dish
- Tagged abortion, Android, Apple, BBQ, cats, culture, global warming, humor, life, menstration, money, obesity, politics, religion, sex, taboo
So…Madeleine Albright. You remember her; she was a secretary by profession and was in charge of all that crazy inaction during the Bosnian and Rwandan genocides of the 90s. Well, she was back in the news last week for improvised philosophizing, saying–and I quote: “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other.” This was shouted during a heated and emotionally imprudent campaign moment in New Hampshire in an attempt to garner primary votes—for Carly Fiorina, I think. But this post is not about Madeleine Albright.
What got me conTIMplating was what she said during that moment of impassioned and impulsive stupidity. Her foolhardy fervency sparked in me a recollected memory from my historical past of a bygone era, and I suddenly came to understand a comprehending realization: I think I know what that special place in hell is. No, it’s not watching The View, but close.
Think about it: Continue reading
Posted in Tim Traveler, Water Buffalo Intestines
- Tagged airline travel, culture, funkification, humor, life, Madeleine Albright, obesity, personal experience, the middle seat, travel
Unless you reside beneath large deposits of granite or perhaps are a subscriber to Us magazine, you are probably aware of the scourge of fanatical evil that everybody is coalitioning about these days. No, I am not referring to the menace of NFL players loose on our public streets; this problem is much more malevolent and has even our legislative and executive branches grafted into a single trunk of governmental topiary oneness in an endeavor to disrupt and destroy perhaps the single greatest threat to our American well-being: the bake sale.
I noticed this subtle cultural change when Thing 2 recently brought home her annual choir fundraising product. Instead of the box of assorted and enchanting selection of chocolate candy-bars upon which I tend to invest my annual September salary, she thrust into my hand something called Continue reading
Posted in Potpourrhetoric
- Tagged bake sales, commentary, culture, food, freedom, humor, news, NFL, obesity, opinion, politics, school, warning labels
In a controversial decision last week, the AMA (the American Medical Association, not the Amarillo International Airport, nor the Academy of Model Aeronautics, nor the text lingo for ‘Ask Me Anything’) declared obesity as a medical disease, making it kinda like cancer or HIV except that it’s not. Perhaps you are old enough to remember that the AMA was opposed to Medicare, then opposed to cuts in Medicare, then opposed to universal health care under Clinton, then opposed to opposition of universal health care under Obama.
In a related story, the AMA’s preferred footwear is flip-flops.
Perhaps what makes this decision controversial is that it is so stupid. Continue reading
Posted in Water Buffalo Intestines
- Tagged American Medical Association, culture, diseases, health, humor, national, news, obesity, opinion, research, satire, yo mama jokes
Regular readers of this blog are obviously getting the USDA recommended allowance of dietary fiber. And if such readers also happen to comeback to this site from time to time, they will have noticed that I have recently, through no fault of my own, been the victim of healthcare.
After being molested by the staff of my local physician (to include a test for pertussis which involves scraping a sample of one’s frontal lobe via the nasal passages), I was diagnosed with pneumonia. Panic I did not, for I had had this dreaded disease before, albeit the “walking” version which I think means that I had pneumonia but not really—kind of like zombies are “walking dead,” meaning they are dead but not really or like Republicans are “walking conservatives,” meaning they are conservatives but not really. Continue reading
Posted in The Petri Dish
- Tagged alcohol, drugs, health, humor, legalizing marijuana, news, obesity, research, satire, science, smoking