The Easter Story… As Told by Mr. Donald J. Trump

It’s an on-going Easter-week tradition here at conTIMplating that I present the Easter story in various translative forms to do my best in helping contemporary peoples relate to the ancient and sometimes confusing biblical text.  This year, noticing that a number of people are trading in their Easter bonnets and accompanying frills for a very spring-like red, Chinese-manufactured “Make America Great Again” baseball cap, I decided to reprint this year’s story from the New American Trump Version (NATV).  My apologies for its length, but…you know, it’s not my fault.  So grab yourself a traditional Easter passion-fruit and settle in to read this, the holiest of stories, from the very innumerate Gospel of The Donald… Continue reading

Advertisements

Holy Week, Batman! It’s Easter!

Hello and here we are in the midst of the most holy week of the Christian calendar, not to be confused with the Christian colander which is also holey but for an entirely different reason.  Holy week is the time of year when believers in the resurrection of Christ become especially reverent and often take time  to personally and  solemnly reflect on why TV commercials can say ‘Easter’ but can’t say ‘Christmas.’

It’s also the time of year when people who normally wouldn’t go to church if their soul depended on it suddenly find themselves going two or three times in a span of a few days “just in case” or to maybe give their busted bracket a supernatural boost. Continue reading