Tag Archives: life

Holy Week, Batman! It’s Easter!

Hello and here we are in the midst of the most holy week of the Christian calendar, not to be confused with the Christian colander which is also holey but for an entirely different reason.  Holy week is the time of year when believers in the resurrection of Christ become especially reverent and often take time  to personally and  solemnly reflect on why TV commercials can say ‘Easter’ but can’t say ‘Christmas.’

It’s also the time of year when people who normally wouldn’t go to church if their soul depended on it suddenly find themselves going two or three times in a span of a few days “just in case” or to maybe give their busted bracket a supernatural boost. Continue reading →

I’d Like to Ask You a Few Questions—And I’m Not Even Polish

Feel free to congratulate me, for this is my 50th blog post and coincidentally, my blogging antiversary.

“Yo, Dog,” I hear you saying,  “That is awesome!  You did it!  How and where can I send you a check?”  While your words are thoughtful and kind, I would appreciate it if you did not call me ‘Dog.’

Let me be perfectly clear: this not my anniversary and is thus my anTiversary, as it is a day OTHER than my anniversary, kind of like an UNbirthday is everyday BUT your birthday which makes today especially special for me because it is BOTH my unbirthday AND my antiversary which calls for excessive festal merriment and celebratory freedom to use run-on sentences and capital letters at will. Continue reading →

Introverts Unite!

Okay, so I’m torqued, ticked, teed, and my O is P’d.  I’m going ballistic, nuclear and postal all at the same time which is causing my knickers to get all twisty and the area directly under my collar to get uncomfortably warm.   I’m fed up, fired up, riled up, worked up and so up in arms that I belong in a deodorant commercial.  I’m in a huff inside a snit enclosed in a tizzy.  I’m steamed and amped and at the end of both my rope and my wits resulting in my being bent out of shape.  When I cross the border into nearby Wisconsin, I am cheesed.

The reason that I’m throwing things like fits, conniptions, and tantrums is that I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of being oppressed.  That’s right, I’m being oppressed!
For those of you who are unaware, I fall into a segment of the population at large that is discriminated against almost as much as ugly people:  I am an introvert. Continue reading →

I Like Big Books And I Cannot Lie

I almost hate to say this with all the ranting about gun control going on lately, but one of my favorite things to do is to kill time.  We Americans are very adept at killing time with all our TV networks and video games and work days and whatnot; it’s almost as if we invented it.  (As a parenthetical aside, killing time actually goes all the way back to the ancient Bedouin nomads who liked to mix it with a little lemon and put in on their chicken.)

My favorite way to kill time is at a used book store.  Used book stores are the perfect place to combine the paltriness of my nominal adventurism with the gargantuan nature of my striking tightfistedness.  Continue reading →

My First Year as a Socialist

This week marks the one year anniversary of my tenacious and unrelenting participation in that vile, habit-forming procrastination tool known as Facebook. Luckily, my involvement has been limited to the shallow platitudinal aspect, as I have yet to be Zuckered into actually buying stock, but nonetheless… Feel free to congratulate me and send me expensive gifts in recognition of my enduring perseverance through this difficult time.

I have thus far successfully avoided other social media, though I am continually pressured to join the likes of LinkedIn, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Quechup, Yammer, CafeMom, BlackPlanet, Frühstückstreff, etc. I am also regularly badgered by my Wisconsin friends to start tweeting but am a tad fearful of Twitter, mainly because I don’t understand the lingo. #hashtags. Continue reading →