The Chronicles of Hernia

According to a number of movies from the 40s and 50s, Christmas is a warm, wonderful time to gather with loved ones and sing carols, exchange gifts, and eat goodies—much like it was in first-century Palestine. And so, I thought to myself, what more appropriate time  than that of joyous celebratory yuletidiness to have an abdominal mesh inserted into my nether regions?  I went to see my doctor about just such a possibility.

For those unfamiliar, such a mesh is the long-term fix for what is known in medical jargon as a ‘hernia’. For laymen and Jim Fowler fans, a hernia is not a wheezy African dog; that would be a laughing hernia, which are more painful than a coughing hernia but less painful than a sneezing hernia. A medical hernia is Continue reading →

The Best of TIM’s Best of 2015

Happy New Year!  Here’s hoping that your arbitrarily chosen day celebrating the interminable passage of time was filled with all the whimsicality such inconsequential festivity deserves!  And what better way to mark such an insignificant festal period than to also mark the best of the best of one’s experiences contained within that very same random twelve month period?!

And so here it is:  the enormously personal and subjective and somewhat recommendary listing of my favorite happenings of the very comma-filled foregoing, that is, previous, year, namely, the second annual

The Best of TIM’s Best of 2015 (see above)

Starting with… Continue reading →

Welcome to the Fourth Year of My Blog. I Apologize.

Hello.  My name is Tim.  Welcome to the fourth year of my blog.  Please do not be offended.  I apologize.

So here we are again.  Those who consider themselves regular readers of this electronic page of web-based wonderment are kidding themselves because one cannot be a regular reader of something that does not regularly exist.  Such is the case with this virtual locale of computerized verbosity, as I have lamentably not posted in nearly a year.

I would like to blame my lack of typeset activity on a sudden and debilitating mandoline tragedy, but alas, I am not that lucky.  It is instead the case Continue reading →

Don’t Hate Me For Trying To Spread A Little Hope

Thanks to that bastion of truth, Social Media, it has come to my attention that yesterday (4 Feb) was World Cancer Day—not to be confused with National Cancer Survivors Day which is June 7th or National Cancer Prevention Month which is the entire month of February—not to be confused with Breast Cancer Awareness Month which is October.  We of course are all aware of Breast Cancer Awareness Month because that is the month wherein we dress up to race for cures and men everywhere are adjusting their sets because the NFL looks like Valentine’s sprinkles.

Personally, I think that if we took the millions spent on pink crap every October and actually used it to fund research we would have had a cure years ago, but…then we wouldn’t feel like we were actually doing something helpful for those who are suffering by temporarily wearing a pink tie and/or boa and/or, in the case of J. Lo, Continue reading →

The Best of TIM’s Best of 2014

Happy New Year!  Today marks the beginning of a new tradition here at conTIMplating that is bound to last upwards of one year in a row!  In the past, during the last week of the year, I have daily posted on my personal Facebook wall hi-lights of the previous year in terms of ‘Best ofs’ such as Best Book Read or Best Movie Seen or Best Comeback Thought Of A Week Later or Best Abbreviation For A Latin Phrase Meaning ‘And So Forth’, etc., etc.

To illustrate my desire for equality and unity, I have decided to yoke said numerous wall posts together into one culminating conglomerate blog post that singularly covers my multiple personally favored favorites of this past year entitled

The Best of TIMs Best of 2014 (see above) Continue reading →