Tag Archives: news

The Maven

themovieblog.com

themovieblog.com

As he pondered weak and worried, up the platform steps he hurried
To declare his candidacy where Abe Lincoln had done before.
While seeking to be president and setting racial precedent
The cool Chicago resident offered promises galore.
Fundamental change was offered amongst promises galore.
“I’ll give you this, and much more.

“I’ll lower premiums for health and force the rich to share their wealth,
And the bills I’m about to sign will be online five days before. Continue reading →

Mission Opossum-able

As the year-end approaches, the internally redundant question that is often asked and repeated by the likes of Johnny Mathis, Harry Connick, and Rod Stewart is: “What are you doing New Year’s…New Year’s Eve?”  A popular New Year’s activity is to watch people drop things.  This is usually done while consuming copious amounts of alcohol and so the most commonly dropped item is one’s inhibitions, but there are any number of more tangible items to watch being dropped all around the world.

Perhaps the best-known dropped item is New York’s Times Square ball.  This is a tradition that started over 100 years ago and has more recently come to symbolize how many times Mayor Michael “Compared To Me Scrooge McDuck Is A Pauper” Bloomberg has himself dropped the ball during his administration.  Continue reading →

Uninformed Because of Holiday Distractions? This May Help…

Here we are in mid-December—the time of year when, amidst our holiday bustle, we begin to pause and somberly reflect on why this is the only time of the year anybody ever uses the word ‘bustle.’  It is also the time of year when we don’t really pay much attention to what is going on in the world in terms of history-making and/or altering news stories because we here in the West are so reverently focused on the birth of the Christ child and all the frantic patriotic consumerism it affords.

Combine that with 93% of all US network coverage being about either Lindsay Lohan or a make-believe crisis wherein Democrats and Republicans are making an hubristic grab for money and power by pretending to be Thelma and Louise, and it creates The Perfect Storm of Notorious movie-title metaphors. Continue reading →

High Way to Health

Regular readers of this blog are obviously getting the USDA recommended allowance of dietary fiber. And if such readers also happen to comeback to this site from time to time, they will have noticed that I have recently, through no fault of my own, been the victim of healthcare.

After being molested by the staff of my local physician (to include a test for pertussis which involves scraping a sample of one’s frontal lobe via the nasal passages), I was diagnosed with pneumonia. Panic I did not, for I had had this dreaded disease before, albeit the “walking” version which I think means that I had pneumonia but not really—kind of like zombies are “walking dead,” meaning they are dead but not really or like Republicans are “walking conservatives,” meaning they are conservatives but not really. Continue reading →

Long Live the King(s)

WARNING: This post contains graphic images of bird poo and celebrity underpants.  If you are a child or are pregnant, you may want to leave the room before reading.

With all the recent hubbub about war, pestilence, and “Death to America” you have no doubt been glued to your television sets and inundated with news of Princess Kate. I have therefore taken it upon myself to inform you that other things in the world are indeed happening that have no affect on your life whatsoever.  Thankfully there are hard-hitting news organizations like this one that feel compelled to report them anyway.

Most important to disregard is the big story out of Chicago this week — not the one about selfless, high-quality yet underpaid teachers striking against those stingy private-sector taxpayers — I’m talking about the one in which it is claimed that the image of Michael Jackson has gloriously appeared in a rather sizeable and well-aimed bird dropping. Continue reading →