I suppose it’s time. After many years of living with my secret, I am coming out with it. I know my friends and family will be shocked, and I’m sure my parents will be disappointed but I cannot hide it any longer. I just hope that those who truly love me will continue to accept me for who I am and not be too quick to judge, though I know that will not be the case for everyone. So here it is: I am Identity Fluid.
I wasn’t always sure growing up what was ‘wrong’ with me. It wasn’t until I saw in the news the likes of Elizabeth Warren, the potential vice presidential candidate who identifies herself as Native American when she isn’t really, or the likes of Rachel Dolezal, the Spokane NAACP chapter director who identifies herself as Black when she isn’t really, that it hit me. It doesn’t matter who I am; all that matters is how I identify myself. President Obama has decreed that this is reason enough to let me use any bathroom I choose. And it turns out that for me, my self-identity changes depending on my mood or circumstances. Thus, I am Identity Fluid. It’s a thing.
Take the example of Continue reading
Posted in Water Buffalo Intestines
- Tagged culture, Elizabeth Warren, humor, identity, news, Obama, opinion, Rachel Dolezal, religion, sarcasm, satire, Target, transgender issues, Woman of the Year
An underrated gift idea. Collect all 32!
Well Fa-la-la, Rumpa-pum-pum, and Ring-ting-tingling too! Nonsense syllables are flying around higher than a paint-sniffing reindeer and The Carpenters are actually getting radio play! This can only mean it’s that time of year when we once again don our red hats and roll up our Greensleeves and get our shop on for the purpose of celebrating Christmas your preferred inoffensive non-specific winter holiday of good feelings and cheer! Yahoo*!
*(The aforementioned exclamation of enthusiastic holiday merriment is neither endorsed by nor affiliated with the popular internet portal. Thank you for not suing me.)
Now I know that getting that perfect gift for that special someone is a bigger hassle than doing one’s hair in the late 80s, so I have wasted upwards of numerous minutes to provide the followers of this very fine blog of electronic wonderment with a time-saving and awe-inspiring
conTIMplating Holiday Gift Guide For Gift Givers Who Give Gifts To People Who In Turn Receive Said Gifts Continue reading
Posted in Potpourrhetoric
- Tagged Barbie, Barf, beauty, Christmas, civil rights, consumerism, culture, food, gift guide, gift-giving, holiday, humor, Lammily, life, NFL, Obama, Pooh
As he pondered weak and worried, up the platform steps he hurried
To declare his candidacy where Abe Lincoln had done before.
While seeking to be president and setting racial precedent
The cool Chicago resident offered promises galore.
Fundamental change was offered amongst promises galore.
“I’ll give you this, and much more.
“I’ll lower premiums for health and force the rich to share their wealth,
And the bills I’m about to sign will be online five days before. Continue reading
Posted in Party TIMe
- Tagged Bush, humor, inaugural, literature, national, news, Obama, opinion, parody, poetry, politics, satire