During this season of frosty snowmen, resting gentlemen and geese getting fat, may the ring-ting-tingling of silver bells deck your halls with such ding-donging merrily on high that good king Wenceslas comes a-wassailing and may your lovely branches be just like the ones you used to know. And while you’re rockin’ around the Christmas tree with Parson Brown and your mommy’s kissing Santa Claus amidst delightful fires, may you remember that silent, holy night in the little town of Bethlehem that brought joy to the world. In other words… Continue reading
Tag Archives: Christianity
‘Tis the Season…Or Not
Hark! My Uncle Harold is singing, merry gentlemen are resting, and everywhere you look, gay yuletides! This can only mean one thing: ‘tis the season to leave the ‘i’ off ‘it is’ and shamelessly throw around tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy.
Therefore in the spirit of joviality and good cheer, I would personally like to take this unique opportunity to don my red hat, roll up my Greensleeves, and wish you and yours all the generic goodness and generally pleasant emotive responses that customarily accompany the festival of your chosen religious tradition coinciding with the sun’s winter solstice! Continue reading
My First Year as a Socialist
This week marks the one year anniversary of my tenacious and unrelenting participation in that vile, habit-forming procrastination tool known as Facebook. Luckily, my involvement has been limited to the shallow platitudinal aspect, as I have yet to be Zuckered into actually buying stock, but nonetheless… Feel free to congratulate me and send me expensive gifts in recognition of my enduring perseverance through this difficult time.
I have thus far successfully avoided other social media, though I am continually pressured to join the likes of LinkedIn, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Quechup, Yammer, CafeMom, BlackPlanet, Frühstückstreff, etc. I am also regularly badgered by my Wisconsin friends to start tweeting but am a tad fearful of Twitter, mainly because I don’t understand the lingo. #hashtags. Continue reading
I Am One Gross National Product
Now is probably as good a TIMe as any to admit that I am among the vilest of creatures. If you read further, do not say that I have not given you fair warning.
Newspapers, magazines, television and radio have, through the years, painted a picture of me that makes Stalin look like Grandpa Walton, which is weird because he actually resembles Captain Kangaroo. It is no wonder that my Facebook friends barely outnumber Minnesota Vikings Superbowl losses; I am apparently more deserving of disgust than even the TSA (a.k.a. Thousands Standing Around). Continue reading
conTIMplating 