Just Call Me ‘For Dinner’

If you had read this post earlier, you could have surmised from the book on the lower portion of the bottom half of my page (that is not there anymore so don’t bother looking), that I had just finished reading Crow Killer: The Saga of Liver-Eating Johnson, about a legendary mountain man of the Old American West.  What struck me most about this book is the extreme coolness of mountain man nicknames: Bear Claw, White-eye, Arkansas Pete, Hatchet Jack, Mad Mose, and of course the main character, Crow Killer, otherwise known as Liver-Eating Johnson.

This got me conTIMplating nicknames, where they come from, and perhaps most importantly, why I don’t have one.  Continue reading →

Sicky Sicky Two-by-Four

In a controversial decision last week, the AMA (the American Medical Association, not the Amarillo International Airport, nor the Academy of Model Aeronautics, nor the text lingo for ‘Ask Me Anything’) declared obesity as a medical disease, making it kinda like cancer or HIV except that it’s not.   Perhaps you are old enough to remember that the AMA was opposed to Medicare, then opposed to cuts in Medicare, then opposed to universal health care under Clinton, then opposed to opposition of universal health care under Obama.

In a related story, the AMA’s preferred footwear is flip-flops.

Perhaps what makes this decision controversial is that it is so stupid. Continue reading →

Lucky 7 Reasons I Hate Las Vegas

Vegas, Baby, Yeah! My kids must live here. All the lights are on. Stolen from wikipedia.com

Vegas, Baby, Yeah! My kids must live here. All the lights are on. Stolen from wikipedia.org

I am going to admit right now that I am not a fan of Vegas:  Susan Vega, Chevy Vega, Vega from Street Fighter, etc.  I suppose the Vega Rocket is pretty cool, but that’s only because it’s a rocket.  Neither do I care for Las Vegas, which is Spanish for “The Vegas.”  My job takes me to Las Vegas fairly regularly and thankfully, it more often than not takes me out again.  Rarely do I look forward to visiting for a number of reasons, and that number is Lucky 7—not to be confused with Lucy 7, the episode where Lucy reads the wrong horoscope for the day and she ruins Ricky’s business deals as a result.  Hilarity ensues. Continue reading →

The Bill of Rights (21st Century Version)

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion other than scientific atheism, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof excepting the use of prayer, public worship, or other activity that does not fall under the sacred canopy of inclusivity and/or tolerance; or abridging the freedom of speech as long as said speech does not include references to the above protected religions, is in line with politically correct conventional wisdom, does not refer in any manner to Amendment II below, and is stated clearly such that it can be secretly monitored and stored for future use as necessary; or freedom of that portion of the press that paints favored governmental powers in a positive light; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble as long as such assemblies are not in the proximity of ranking government officials, the Bilderberg Group, or the G8, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances with the full knowledge that such grievances will be promptly ignored to the fullest extent of the law unless the agenda of presiding governmental powers be preserved. Continue reading →

Time for a Graduation Innovation Conversation

Yesterday was Thing 1’s last day of high school, which means she graduates in the top 100% of her class this week and enters the ambiguous and limbotic state of a Phillip Phillips Summer; somewhere between “Home” and “Gone, Gone, Gone”.

Not unlike your typical middle-aged milquetoast who has survived such a life event as this, my emotive state is one of uneasy apprehension and terrible trepidation, not so much from the launching of a long-time household resident as from the requirement that I actually attend the lengthy and dreaded tradition that is the graduation ceremony. Continue reading →