Category Archives: Potpourrhetoric

A category of the uncategorizable

This Is One Big-Ash Wednesday!

Here it is Ash Wednesday, the day whereupon I traditionally sit on my ash and crank out some sort of Easter blog–and by ‘traditionally’ I mean one year in a row.  Easter is a special time at our house and we celebrate the resurrection of The Christ by consuming gluttonous amounts of ham, a cloven-hoofed delicacy that ironically Jesus himself never ate because, as it reads in Leviticus, The Queen Mother’s Dijon-pineapple glaze is positively sinful.

Easter for me is a source of pleasant memories, not the least of which is coloring eggs as a child and waking up Easter morning to search for them around the house, as they were purportedly scattered about by some sort of mischievous long-eared rodent.  A related memory is waking up a few days later to the sulfurous smell of the one or two that we overlooked.

A few years ago I created a more adult-type memory Continue reading →

If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Ban ‘Em

‘Groovy.’  ‘Far out.’ ‘Totally awesome.’  There are certain words and phrases that rightfully have been relegated to the trash heap of clichés so lame their use automatically qualifies you for a handicap parking sticker.  Other expunged examples from the past include ‘excellent,’ ‘…from hell,’ ‘gnarly,’ ‘bogus,’ ‘totally bogus,’ ‘Jon-Benet,’ and ‘Starring Pauly Shore.’

Another one is ‘War on Terror.’  Say what you want about President Obama.  Then move on to the next paragraph.

One thing our current illustrious president, P.BO, has accomplished is the abolition of the phrase ‘War on Terror,’ a phrase coined by our former illustrious president, W. Bush.  ‘War on Terror’ was so overused and religiously chanted by media outlets that it became downright meaningless—as evidenced by the continuing proliferation of terror in our society today, to include zombie movies, Stephen King novels and Nancy Pelosi press conferences. Continue reading →

It’s National? Punctuation! …Day.

In the spirit of shared communal togetherness, I will forward the announcement that today, September 24, is, of course, National Punctuation Day, which is why I, your blogger, have chosen to begin today’s entry with as many commas, that is, small punctuation marks, as possible.  Be sure to wish your store clerk a “Happy Holiday.”

National Punctuation Day was started in 2004 by sauerkraut sandwich inventor Jeff Rubin for the purpose of improving punctuation use and awareness among Americans who on the whole would rather care about matching towels or whether or not Twinkies are the same.  Correct punctuation usage has fallen by the wayside, says Rubin, and since the Republican strategy for dealing with this crisis is to defund Obamacare and the Democratic strategy is to call Republicans racists, Mr. Rubin decided that instead of being Batman’s sidekick, he, himself, would seek to create a day whereon the focus would be entirely hyphenated. Continue reading →

Hoosier Daddy

Last week was a rite of passage for me.  No, it was not breeching, smarty pants.  Nor was it completing my Rumspringa, something you are sure to Google and to which there is no end in sight.  What I did last week was take part in the compulsory and sometimes traumatic Western middle-age ceremony known as “Dropping Off Your Firstborn at College.”

Wow, does the time go fast.  It seems like just yesterday I was cleaning up the pasty Vaseline and baby powder concoction Thing 1 spread liberally about herself and her childhood bedroom.  Now here I am launching her three states away with the freedom and independence to do the same in an Indiana dorm full of strangers. Continue reading →