Evidently writing about racism is like working for the CIA: just when I thought I was done and out, they pull me back in. Race, racism, race baiting, race profiling, race walking, race horses, race for the cure, emb-race the suck—enough already! It’s time that we as a culture dug deep, looked within, and somehow found the strength to stop being so stupid.
The latest manufactured media hullabaloo is about the race of Santa Claus. That’s right, Santa Claus. And it all started with Slate blogger Aisha Harris.
Aisha got everybody riled up by saying that Santa should be a penguin.
Exactly. Continue reading
Posted in The Petri Dish
- Tagged Aisha Harris, Christmas, culture, humor, Jesus, Megyn Kelley, news, opinion, political correctness, racism, Santa Claus, Slate
I have noticed over that past few weeks that America is one sorry nation—so much so that we’ve inspired a Parker Brothers board game and an entire Country & Western music genre.
San Francisco 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver apologized for saying he would not like a gay man in his locker room. House Transportation and Infrastructure Chairman Bill Shuster (R-Pa.) apologized for saying that P.BO was lying in his big State of the Union shindig. ESPN apologized because Brent Musburger had the gall to call a woman beautiful. CNN apologized because New Year’s Eve host Kathy Griffin was…well…Kathy Griffin. Continue reading
Posted in The Petri Dish
- Tagged apology, Christmas, culture, current-events, gun control, history, homosexuality, humor, news, opinion, racism, religion, satire
During this season of frosty snowmen, resting gentlemen and geese getting fat, may the ring-ting-tingling of silver bells deck your halls with such ding-donging merrily on high that good king Wenceslas comes a-wassailing and may your lovely branches be just like the ones you used to know. And while you’re rockin’ around the Christmas tree with Parson Brown and your mommy’s kissing Santa Claus amidst delightful fires, may you remember that silent, holy night in the little town of Bethlehem that brought joy to the world. In other words… Continue reading
Pardon me while I wax nostalgic such that it’s all shiny and the water on it bubbles up to where you could use it to wrap fragile mailings, but Christmas just isn’t what it used to be. It probably has something to do with my considerable and snowballing oldness and its accompanying cantankerous irritability. Get off my lawn, by the way.
When you’re a kid every Christmas is like, well…Christmas. It was an enchanted time of sugarplums and fairies and sugarplum fairies and more sugar but not quite so many fairies. They were days of innocence in which an infant could travel to grandma’s in the back window of an LTD and if you sat too close to the fire in your PJ’s they would melt right onto your skin. It was back when it was perfectly safe to drape a month-old, dried-out evergreen tree in the same red-hot incandescent light bulbs we used in toy ovens to bake tasty treats. Continue reading
Here we are in mid-December—the time of year when, amidst our holiday bustle, we begin to pause and somberly reflect on why this is the only time of the year anybody ever uses the word ‘bustle.’ It is also the time of year when we don’t really pay much attention to what is going on in the world in terms of history-making and/or altering news stories because we here in the West are so reverently focused on the birth of the Christ child and all the frantic patriotic consumerism it affords.
Combine that with 93% of all US network coverage being about either Lindsay Lohan or a make-believe crisis wherein Democrats and Republicans are making an hubristic grab for money and power by pretending to be Thelma and Louise, and it creates The Perfect Storm of Notorious movie-title metaphors. Continue reading
Posted in Water Buffalo Intestines
- Tagged blogging, Christmas, Democrats, driving dogs, holiday, humor, Jesse Watters, news, pit bulls, politics, shopping, zombies