Category Archives: Water Buffalo Intestines

What’s in the gnus

One (More) Reason I Will Never Be a Marine Biologist

I will never be a marine biologist.  Those who are close to me know that I do not use flowery deodorants.  Less literally, those who are close to me also know that I do not like big things in the water.  And when I say big things in the water I mean animate, alive things like sharks or squids or Loch Ness monsters.  Boats and their ilk are okay, but anything that moves of its own will and is bigger than a Chipotle burrito will make me scream like Howard Dean in Iowa.

It doesn’t even have to be especially scary; it just has to be of significant size.  Even things that might be large, but absolutely harmless like halibut or tuna or Chris Christie; if they are big and they are in the water, they freak me out.  Out of the water I am fine.  If I were to see  Chris Christie or a halibut in Costco, no problem.   Continue reading →

Redskins’ Name Is Siouxper Offensive

The Washington Redskins are in the news over their name again.  The word on the social media street is that there is pressure to change it because of embarrassment over the term ‘Washington,’  hahajklol;).  The manufactured outrage is actually over the term ‘Redskin’ as it is perceived as disparaging toward Native Americans and psoriasis sufferers by implying that they are competitive and fierce.

Other teams are under the tomahawk over this, including the Atlanta Braves, the Cleveland Indians, the Kansas City Chiefs, the Florida State Seminoles, the Chicago Blackhawks, the Cincinnati Reds, and the Birmingham Whites Only. Continue reading →

Time to Get Syria-us

Pilfered from thewashingtonpost.com

Pilfered from thewashingtonpost.com

This week I am going to do my readers a disservice and dabble in the very world of international intrigue that everyone is talking about these days except the media, who in their defense, is pretty focused on bringing us anything and everything about Miley Cyrus right now.  The Washington Post has put out a couple of articles about Egypt and Syria entitled “9 Questions About [one of the afore mentioned countries] You Were Too Embarrassed to Ask” which have been popular and informative and are to be commended for their intricate simplicity.  And so I thought to myself, “Who am I to not steal such a good idea?  After all, I am as uniquely qualified to dabble in international affairs as anyone, as I have been receiving International Male catalogs for years now.”

The result is the following: a conTIMplating version of

9 Questions About Syria You Were Too Embarrassed to Ask Because You Haven’t Read The Washington Post Article Continue reading →

Going Postal on the Male Man

Perhaps you have heard that California Governor Jerry Brown recently signed AB1266 into law, giving the state’s K through 12 students the right “to participate in sex-segregated programs, activities and facilities”–yes, facilities–based on their ‘sexual self-perception’ and regardless of their birth gender.  Not wanting to be left out of the future litigation storm, Massachusetts issued a similar directive.

Gov. Brown sees this as a landmark decision for transgender Americans and all lawyers in general, as it will help reduce bullying since an eighth-grade boy who chooses to use an elementary-school’s female restroom will be treated as completely normal.  You remember Mr. Brown.  Besides being the star of a Dr. Seuss story who able to moo and quack like a duck, Continue reading →

Do You Hear the Singing Swiss?

swiss flagLike it or not, the Swiss are in the news again.  And I know what you are thinking: Winter Olympics already?  It may come as a shock to many of my American readers, but I have it on good authority that some nations exist and do stuff even when the Olympics are not going on.  The Swiss are a perfect example.

Last week Switzerland announced a contest through which they will choose a new national anthem to replace their current “Swiss Psalm,” which in turn replaced the English tune, “God Save the Queen” in 1961 because they eventually realized that 1) they were not English; and b) they didn’t even have a queen. Continue reading →