Legalizing Pot, Otherwise Known as Marijuana or Rope or Sasfras or Tex-Mex or Stems or Hooch or Indian Boy or Locoweed or Juan Valdez or…

If you’re like me, you spent upwards of five minutes yesterday re-electing 90% of the most hated legislative branch in our nation’s storied history.  I only bring this up because it isn’t my representatives who are the problem; it’s yours and everyone else’s.  If everyone else would just get rid of their lousy congressperson and/or senator, then I’m sure we would have the greatest period in our nation’s storied history.

The favorite parts of my personal Minnesota election ballot were the assorted candidates from the Grassroots-Legalize Cannibis Party and the Legalize Marijuana Now Party.  They were running for various state offices and standing over which one not to vote for, I couldn’t help but notice that they were two separate parties with seemingly the same agenda.  Why two?  Are they so split on the issues that they could not get together and combine resources?  Continue reading

Check Out These Suite Hotel Tips

TIMe for another episodic episode of TIM’s Travel Tips, which are a lot like sirloin tips except they don’t go nearly as well with a port demiglaze.  Today’s topic is hotels.  I know there are a lot of questions out there regarding hotels like, How come desk clerks in foreign countries don’t speak better English? and, Do they replace those little shampoos every time or do they just fill them up for the next guy?

Unfortunately, I don’t know the answers to these questions, but having spent the night in everything from a third-world 5-star resort where one square of lobby marble is more expensive than all the surrounding residences combined, to a roadside mom & pop motel where mom won’t use a vacuum because it upsets all the cats and pop left her months ago for the chick who lives in the dumpster behind the local Roquefort shop, I think I am qualified to attest as to what makes a decent place to stay and what places you should avoid like a Haitian prostitute. Continue reading

Seattle: Where Only the Jokes Are Dry

What a gorgeous city!  This is the best picture of Seattle that I have ever stolen from Wikipedia.

What a gorgeous city! This is the best picture of Seattle that I have ever stolen from Wikipedia.

Let me just start out by saying that Seattle is my favorite city in North America, and that includes the likes of Hell (Michigan), Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! (Quebec), and My Large Intestine (Texas).  Founded in the 1850s as ‘Duwamp,’ the name was changed in honor of Chief Si’ahl of the spectacularly spelled Dkhw’Duw’Absh tribe because they were pretty sure nobody would ever buy an album of a band from Duwamp.

Seattle initially flourished from the lumber and Chinese race riot industries.  It later became a launching point and market center for the Klondike Gold Rush of the 1890s and a development center for the Dot Com Gold Rush in the 1990s.  It is located in Washington State on a strip of land sandwiched between Puget Sound and the Cascade Mountains, both of which provide a natural barrier from the state’s Republicans. Continue reading