Bully For You!

The other day I read how our presumptive redundant presidential nominees have been in imaginary trouble for their respective school-age high-jinks. Slick Mitt from Mich and Mass is reported as providing an unwanted haircut to a victim who is now conveniently dead and whose family has no recollection of the incident. Republicans countered by pointing out that P.BO reported in his own book that, in an uncharacteristic Binky-like moment, he once shoved a little girl in a playground altercation. This, in turn, provoked the Democrats to respond with, “Nanny-nanny boo-boo.” To which the Republicans replied, “I know you are, but what am I?” And so on. Continue reading →

Anybody Know a Good Personal Obesity Lawyer?

It pains me to say, but at some indeterminate point in the past, I traded in my washboard stomach for a top-loader. It’s like I accidentally left my six-pack in the car and it got too warm, exploding into an Orson Wellian pear-shaped flesh balloon. –Not that I need to be buried in a piano case or anything, but as a middle-aged archetype, I am admittedly soft in places that were previously not places.

Being fat doesn’t really concern me; four out of five dentists surveyed are also fat. Continue reading →

What to Expect When You’re Inspecting

Before getting too deep into the customary claptrap to be discovered on this awesome page of electronic webness, I briefly offer another helping of introductory poppycock, mainly to give a sense of what is to come and because I giggle to myself every time I say ‘poppycock.’ To those 12 of you who read my first entry, don’t have any idea who I am, and have yet returned (you know who you are), I seek to avoid Stranger Danger by offering a little about me personally… Continue reading →

Welcome to My Blog. I Apologize.

Hello. My name is Tim. Welcome to my blog. Please do not boycott me. I apologize.

Why do I have a blog? Because there’s nothing on TV. Also, over the years there have been a number of people (about 7) who have shown interest in my writings and of those, roughly 14.29% of those suggested that I “get off the couch,” find an outlet to showcase them, and thus “get out of her hair.”

Blogging is free, I am cheap, so here we are.

But there is a problem: Continue reading →