Category Archives: Tim Traveler

Oh, the places I’ll go!

Sprig Thyme in Pairs (Thank you, Autocorrect)

It’s been a long-standing tradition in our family going back almost two weeks now that the member who happens to be a senior in high-school gets to choose the destination for her final family vacation before she has to face reality.  Being an art spaz and a student of spending as much of her parent’s money as possible, Thing 1 chose spring break in Paris, which we accomplished last week and which I will now attempt to summarize in 800 summative words or less.

Other than single-handedly upholding the local crêpe-stand industry, our time in The City of Lights was spent rushing in and out of the more irritatingly crowded Parisian tourist traps in just five days, including Continue reading →

Seattle: Where Only the Jokes Are Dry

What a gorgeous city! This is the best picture of Seattle that I have ever stolen from Wikipedia.

What a gorgeous city! This is the best picture of Seattle that I have ever stolen from Wikipedia.

Let me just start out by saying that Seattle is my favorite city in North America, and that includes the likes of Hell (Michigan), Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! (Quebec), and My Large Intestine (Texas).  Founded in the 1850s as ‘Duwamp,’ the name was changed in honor of Chief Si’ahl of the spectacularly spelled Dkhw’Duw’Absh tribe because they were pretty sure nobody would ever buy an album of a band from Duwamp.

Seattle initially flourished from the lumber and Chinese race riot industries.  It later became a launching point and market center for the Klondike Gold Rush of the 1890s and a development center for the Dot Com Gold Rush in the 1990s.  It is located in Washington State on a strip of land sandwiched between Puget Sound and the Cascade Mountains, both of which provide a natural barrier from the state’s Republicans. Continue reading →

I Like Big Books And I Cannot Lie

I almost hate to say this with all the ranting about gun control going on lately, but one of my favorite things to do is to kill time.  We Americans are very adept at killing time with all our TV networks and video games and work days and whatnot; it’s almost as if we invented it.  (As a parenthetical aside, killing time actually goes all the way back to the ancient Bedouin nomads who liked to mix it with a little lemon and put in on their chicken.)

My favorite way to kill time is at a used book store.  Used book stores are the perfect place to combine the paltriness of my nominal adventurism with the gargantuan nature of my striking tightfistedness.  Continue reading →

Anchorage: Armpit of Alaska

Anchorage at low-tide, which varies as much as 38 feet--about the same as my belt size around the holidays.

Anchorage at low-tide, which varies as much as 38 feet–about the same as my belt size around the holidays.

One of my moist favorite travel destinations is Anchorage, Alaska (thank you, autocorrect).  Whether it’s to experience the boundless scenery, savor the minutes-old seafood, or just to warm up from a Minnesota winter, going to Anchorage makes those who claim they are going “up north” for the weekend look like whiney bed-wetting pansies. Continue reading →

Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’

Every four years or so we find it necessary as a familial unit to escape the borders of this great country of ours and venture out into foreign lands by way of some sort of ridiculously monstrous cruise ship. (The fact that such excursions coincide with Presidential Party Convention Season is purely coincidental by design.) This year found us battling Hurricane Isaac (named for the affable Love Boat bartender) while trolling about The Bahamas, a chain of islands off the coast of Florida best known for their mamas and the Utterly Unaffordable Atlantis Paradise Resort. Continue reading →