Hillary Dillary Dock

FBI director James Comey made an announcement last week that actually had nothing to do with the fact that his last name would be a great slang term for Donald Trump’s hairstyle.

“What is that?”
“It’s a Comey.”
“I wish I had a Comey.”

Instead he made the shocking and yet entirely expected recommendation that there be no prosecution of Hillary. You recognize the name, I’m sure. Hillary has become a single name icon not unlike Madonna or Cher, partly because nobody is sure whether to say ‘Rodham’ anymore or not. When someone mentions ‘Hillary’ you no longer think Duff or Swank. There is truly only one Hillary.

Anyway… Continue reading

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Reeding Is Instrumental

Here we are two months into this dastardly lockout and fans like myself are getting worried that the petty squabble between these two groups of whiney, overpaid crybabies will result in a cancellation of the entire season. I think I’m not alone when I entreat both sides to get back to the bargaining table and work out their differences. I mean, come on! What do they expect us to do with our winter nights, read? …earn a living? …spend them with loved ones? Pssh.

If you’re a rabid right-wing surmiser, you have already surmised what I am talking about. Die-hards like myself know that it’s just not going to be winter without the Minnesota and St. Paul Chamber Orchestras. Unfortunately, most people don’t care about the lockout because, much like the case with the NHL lockout, they find all the banging, the crashing, and exchanging of blows rather tedious—not to mention the low number of scores at each event. Continue reading