Tag Archives: Missouri

It’s an Ill Wind that Blows No Good

Right now I’m so fed up that I gained 7 pounds and I’m about to organize a political boycott of Hannibal, Missouri, a river town in Missouri named after founder Anthony Hopkins.  Sure I’ve never actually been there, but if I ever find myself having to go from Moberly to Pittsfield, I will certainly give Hannibal a wide berth and cross the Mississippi from Missouri to Illinois at Louisiana, even though that doesn’t make any sense.

According to news reports, a man entered the Hannibal city hall to conduct official business and several of the staff therein called 911—not just one or two, mind you, but several—because the individual in question had a “severe stinkiness” about him.  In short, B.O.  And I’m not talking about the Monopoly railroad. Continue reading →

Tale of the GOATmen

Today I attempt a “travelogue,” an effort to treat you with my exploits in travel.  This is not to be confused with a “pecan log” which is a treat you purchase while you travel past your local Stuckey’s. (Ha! Just kidding; there’s no such thing as a “local Stuckey’s.”  All Stuckey’s are somewhere else.  “Local Stuckey’s” is an oxymoron–like saying “jumbo shrimp” or “distinguished senator.”) Continue reading →