It won’t be long now and the neighbor kids will be running across my lawn and, under the approving eye of their loving parents, practice extortion. They call it trick-or-treating, but everyone knows it’s just a huge shakedown. Here I am a grown man and I have to shell out a Jujube so some little six-year old brat doesn’t unload the leftover tomatoes from his grandpa’s garden on my screen door? What kind of sick tradition is this? I don’t even know what a Jujube is.
It turns out that the tradition of Halloween is one of those Christian origin things that people prefer to ignore the origin of…like science, or equality, or torturing people to get them to recant—oh wait; everybody remembers that last one. It’s true, though. Halloween is a religious observance; something about remembering all the saints and martyrs who died of hypoglycemia. But don’t tell the politically correct secular police or they might get all hissyfitted into a new pair of whinypants and we’d have to start calling it Holidayween and kids would no longer be allowed to ‘cross’ the street to trick-or-treat. Continue reading