commentary | conTIMplating

Given that my primer on last summer’s Syria situation was one of my most popular posts and yet least liked, I thought I would seek to keep my readers misinformed as to what is going on with the whole Ukrainian geopolitical crisis that is so dominating the first five or six minutes of American newscasts these days. (And just so you know, I will attempt to do so without any obvious lame jokes mentioning that Ukrainian pipelines supply Russian natural gas to Europe; that is, that the primary Ukrainian industry is passing gas.)

Just so there’s no misunderstanding, when I say ‘geopolitical’ I mean it in the classical sense: that is, ‘geo’ as in ‘small Chevy’ and ‘political’ as in ‘what everyone hates more than aspic.’ And when we apply this term to the Ukrainian crisis, we get more confusion than a 2000 Dade County ballot. This is because nobody knows exactly what is going on due to a decided preference for beer.

As you can see from the map below, Continue reading →

I don’t usually get too excited about political scandals due to their inevitable and foreseeable nature, but this ‘Bridgegate’ thing has gotten me more worked up than a paleoista at a food court. Specifically, I am more than shocked and dismayed that ‘Bridgegate’ is the best name the media could come up with for this nationwide local issue and frankly, whoever invented it should be made curator of the Lame Museum.

Really? ‘Bridgegate’? It’s like the creativity pipes got frozen in the polar vortex of banality and spewed liquid dull all over the floor of the triteroom.

Call me more progressive than my insurance company, but it’s about time we stopped putting ‘-gate’ at the end of anything that hints at the unethical or seemingly naughty-naughty. Other stupid examples include Continue reading →