I Would Read More Books About Anti-gravity, But I Find Them Hard To Put Down

Hello. My name is Tim, and I am a bibliophile.

“Hi Tim.”

At least I think I am. If not, I would like to be. I’m either that or a bookworm; I‘m not sure which applies. A bibliophile is one who suffers from bibliophilia, the love of books, whereas a bookworm is someone who loves books and either has worms or also loves worms. I’m pretty sure I’m not a bibliomaniac however, which is someone who stalks books with the faint hope of catching a glimpse of them without their slipcover and spirals into a jealous rage when someone else checks them out. Continue reading

I Am One Gross National Product

Now is probably as good a TIMe as any to admit that I am among the vilest of creatures. If you read further, do not say that I have not given you fair warning.

Newspapers, magazines, television and radio have, through the years, painted a picture of me that makes Stalin look like Grandpa Walton, which is weird because he actually resembles Captain Kangaroo. It is no wonder that my Facebook friends barely outnumber Minnesota Vikings Superbowl losses; I am apparently more deserving of disgust than even the TSA (a.k.a. Thousands Standing Around). Continue reading

The Moaning and the Groaning of the Bell’s

Since I started this crazy blogging thing I have been inundated with three e-mails all asking me the same question: “Dude, what is up with that creepy picture?” Aside from being a 40-something educated man who is referred to as ‘Dude,’ I welcome such questions and will waste this weekly post by proffering an extensive explicatory explanation.

The photo is indeed of me, a.k.a. TIM of conTIMplating fame Continue reading

What to Expect When You’re Inspecting

Before getting too deep into the customary claptrap to be discovered on this awesome page of electronic webness, I briefly offer another helping of introductory poppycock, mainly to give a sense of what is to come and because I giggle to myself every time I say ‘poppycock.’ To those 12 of you who read my first entry, don’t have any idea who I am, and have yet returned (you know who you are), I seek to avoid Stranger Danger by offering a little about me personally… Continue reading

Welcome to My Blog. I Apologize.

Hello. My name is Tim. Welcome to my blog. Please do not boycott me. I apologize.

Why do I have a blog? Because there’s nothing on TV. Also, over the years there have been a number of people (about 7) who have shown interest in my writings and of those, roughly 14.29% of those suggested that I “get off the couch,” find an outlet to showcase them, and thus “get out of her hair.”

Blogging is free, I am cheap, so here we are.

But there is a problem: Continue reading